Overheard in New York

Costumo seguir o blog Overheard in New York, e tenho, ocasionalmente, deixado aqui algumas transcrições de lá.
A ideia da página é simples: reproduzir conversas parvas/engraçadas/sem nexo ouvidas na rua.

Lembrei-me de deixar aqui algumas das que mais gostei, nos últimos dias.


Drunk girl #1: She doesn't care about AIDS?
Drunk girl #2: No, no, she said 'Asians.' She said she doesn't care about Asians.
Sober friend: I said I didn't care about age.
Drunk girl #2: Why are you hatin' on Asians with AIDS?

*

Tourist: Are you shooting a movie? Is that what all this is for?
Production assistant: Yes.
Tourist: Which movie? Is it a new one? Who's in it?
Production assistant: It's a new Adam Sandler movie. It's called--
Tourist: --Oh. Never mind. [Walks away.]

*

Middle-aged black lady: Those are some nice pants.
Latino dude: Yeah, I'm buying it for Jack's wedding tomorrow.
Middle-aged black lady: Didn't he just get out of high school?
Latino dude: Well, he's 22 now. He's marrying his old Health teacher. She's 28.
Middle-aged black lady: He... He was her student?
Latino dude: Yeah! The first day of class she kicked him out because he was being an asshole. He was like, 'Suck this dick and lick these balls, biotch!'
Middle-aged black lady: Well, I guess she took his advice.
Latino dude: Yeah. Life's funny like that...

*

College guy #1: Remember that time in high school when we brought up all your dad's old guns from the basement?
College guy #2: Yeah, man, that was so funny.
College guy #1: I know, we all thought that was hysterical. Except for Emily. She totally flipped out. I mean, it wasn't like we had actually loaded the guns.
College guy #2: Yeah, but then again, she had been held up at gunpoint before, so I guess that's why.

*

Dude #1: The doctor said that I should stop finding blood in my piss within the next week if I keep taking this shit he prescribed.
Dude #2: That's cool. Did you get to show him the tattoo on your dick?
Dude #1: Nah... I told him about it, though.

*

Student #1: It's crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really -- the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.

*

Girl: She's a lesbian...
Guy: Lesbians love strap-ons.
Girl: I thought the point of being a lesbian is that you're not into... that...
Guy: Well, there's only so much you can do with two vaginas.

*

Dude #1: Hey, smell my breath.
Dude #2: Holy shit, man! What have you been eating?!
Dude #1: Kate's ass!