Mega-selecção Overheard in New York

Aqui fica uma escolha do melhor dos últimos dias (desculpa lá, ó Maquinista, a usurpação americana do "ouvisto de passagem").

Bimbette: What's the plural of 'Jesus'? Jesuses? Jesi?
Friend: Why would you ever need to pluralize 'Jesus'? There's only one!
Bimbette: Well, like, if you were at a Halloween party or something and you had to tell your friend 'There were, like, eight Jesi at the party last night!'
Friend: Just stop talking.

NYU ditz #1: So, this hobo on the train is selling Paris Hilton's urine as perfume! It was all yellow in a jar and he was like, 'Yeah, she took a piss and I've got it to sell - 20 bucks a pop.'
NYU ditz #2: No freaking way - what did it smell like?
NYU ditz #1: Like urine - I just can't believe he collected her urine... [Baffled pause] You think it was really hers? I love Paris Hilton!

Toddler pointing out window: Fuck, fuck.
Mother: No, that's 'truck.' Tuh-tuh-tuh-truck.
Toddler: Tuh-tuh-tuh-fuck.
Mother: Oh, man.

Guy #1: You know Frank Zappa, right?
Guy #2: Not personally.
Guy #1: Well, he's dead, but you know who he is?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Well, you know his song, 'Suzie Creamcheese'? Apparently, my dad fucked Suzie Creamcheese.
Guy #2: For real, or just in his head, like an old-guy fantasy?
Guy #1: For real -- I have it from two different sources.